Newspapers have been our source of information for years, and before the internet, we most relied on them for information on the world. But how serious can we take these newspaper stories when we come across some hilarious headlines, obviously written without any humorous intent? We wonder how these even got published.
We Guess It Did The Job
Of course, army vehicles are applied with camouflage paint, but this must have been a really good paint job since the vehicle was claimed as missing since no one could spot the $74,000 worth automobile.
It Is A Tricky Word
In all fairness, most people would probably struggle to spell Mississippi when asked, but this writer clearly had no time to check the correct spelling of the word. Happy to publish “Missippi'”‘ in an article about a literacy program really takes the bullet for irony, and maybe this writer needs to attend. After all, the article is stating how they were showing improvement, and that’s just what we would hope for, especially if they’re employed to write more articles!
Shaking Things Up
When hearing about Earthquakes, a lot of information divulged is about the damage caused, and the experiences people went through when finding themselves in one. Here, they will discuss how the ground started shaking, and all that surrounded them was at risk. So, when this article discusses that most damage is caused by shaking, we can’t help but wonder what else it could be that this would have to make headline news.
Show Us Your Gun
“Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons” – Well, that doesn’t come as much of a shock. It makes you wonder what they had expected to find on their raid in a gun shop. Perhaps they were told they would find something else that shouldn’t have been there but for the headline to claim they ‘Find Weapons,’ that is not completely mind-blowing. It is something we could have all guessed. With more information that the store owner had previously been arrested, we do worry about him owning a gun shop.
Have You Ever Tried Your Underwear?
This man who has obviously drunken over the limit believes that consuming cotton will help absorb the alcohol in his system and allow him to beat the system. Fair play though, this is something that gets the readers attention, and even law students sitting in the courtroom listening to his admission couldn’t contain their laughter. It is safe to say, however, that this theory of his did not work in his favor.
Sounds More Like An Escape Room
Sorry, what? We would expect that the most secure locks are being used in state prisons to ensure all inmates are kept well and truly behind bars. The idea of easy-open locks being used instead, is slightly frightening and makes you wonder what all the money for prisons is going towards. Let’s just hope they sort that one out fast because we sure don’t want to come across any jail mates that have successfully escaped. That change needs to be locked down quick!
Is It A Bird, Is It A Plane?
Are they just trying to state the obvious here? Because I think readers are well informed that bugs which have wings are flying bugs – Right? Sometimes you’ve just got to state it in black and white for the unsure, and they certainly have in this newspaper article. So next time you see a bug flying about, rest assured, it’s just a flying bug, nothing too profound and nothing too out of the ordinary to happen for an insect with wings.
You Would Never Have Guessed
If we were to guess where it is most likely you would be in the presence of the forgotten, we would probably be right in thinking a cemetery. So this headline gets the reaction of a ‘Duh’ moment. Fine, fine, it means someone who had not actually been buried in the cemetery and was an unexpected find, but the wording of the headline is enough for us to shake our heads in dismay at whoever worded this Breaking News headline.
Spending Your Last Pennies Wisely
For a county that is low in funds, it is quite the surprise that they’re willing to fork out $250,000 on advertisements, which will show that they are having financial difficulty. In fact, you would think that sum is a lot of money to help them with their issues and could be spent on improvements rather than advertising… on how they have a lack of funds. We don’t think anybody will be calling to help them with this one after seeing this headline.
No Magic Eight Ball For This One
If the psychic couldn’t see into her future, then no one has much luck in entering the world of the supernatural. If anything, you would want your powers for this kind of situation, and avoid being arrested. The fact that it says “Psychic arrested again,” we can’t help but think we could have even seen this coming. Surely she wasn’t changing her ways and was only going to end up back in the slammer, so she may have to re-think her profession and her almighty abilities.
Who’s The Real Dummy?
It seems that no editing or proofreading was done for this article. Maybe they were in a rush, maybe they were testing out the gin in the photo, and their memory was hazy, but either way, this is less than an impressive mistake since it is clearly labeled “Dummy text goes here.” While there may be a picture to advertise the product, there is the missing piece of information below to caption the advert. Kind of defeats the point here.
That’s An Interesting Name
Can you explain how you say your name please, sir? We could bet our money that the caption below this fellas picture is most definitely not his name or any description of the subject. What can be assumed to have been a more likely case is someone just decided to hit the keyboard at random and thought they would come back to it later, with the real information. We guess that never happened and ‘GDDGDFGGF’ was considered to be just what they were after.
This Makes For An Interesting Comparison
When a story discusses how police were called about a newborn infant found in the trash, only to discover it was a burrito, you do wonder – how big was this burrito?! I mean, thank goodness it was not as originally thought, but who in their right mind mistakes a burrito for a baby? That would have been a great deal of time wasted for the police that day, but their discovery must have been a massive sigh of relief at the same time.
It’s All In The Words
You’re wondering if we need assistance with our English by asking, ‘Shamed by You English?’ Another classic case of irony created by this man, who thinks his advertisement is going to get those aspiring English speakers calling him up. His description is not much help either, and it is right to believe you are going to need a lot more than 15 minutes a day with this guy to get your grammar on point. It may be better for him to double check his English before advertising it in a newspaper.
A Compromising Position
The Evening Standard may be publishing stories which are advising the public to ‘Stop tweeting,’ but that does not stop them from rallying up the followers for their own social media page. What do we do in this situation? Do we follow them on twitter as they’ve advertised, or do we listen to the article they have published about doing the complete opposite? What a conundrum they have caused. We hope they’ve read their own publishing and see the difficult situation they’ve put us all in.
Thanks For The Heads Up
We often look to professionals for advice in their field, but when the Utah Control Center reminds the population not to take poison, we can’t help but question if we should rethink turning to these professionals. Another ‘duh’ moment when reading this headline, because we can’t imagine there will come a day when poison will be kind to the human body. If Utah Poison Control had a good reason for this reminder, and just in case you may have forgotten, do not take poison… ever.
What Could That Smell Possibly Be?
You’re walking the streets, you get that awful whiff of something you’d rather have avoided, and the answer from the where it is coming is often – the sewer. For a good reason too, since we know what comes and goes through those sewers and leaves the cities with that off smell we all have to sometimes tolerate. So it is a bit of a concern that the city is unsure as to why the sewer smells, because, after all, it’s common knowledge.
The Hero Who Created A Devil
While being hailed as a hero for saving his sister’s life, this eight-year-old from Waterford states he “wouldn’t do it again” because “she’s been a pain this week.” You can’t help but smile at the cuteness of this story, but we sure hope this youngster is never in a life-threatening position with her brother again. You would think that the caption for the headline news would be how he was such a hero, but if this is what the boy expressed than that’s what they are going to write!
When divulging in a delicious pork chop, the last thing to expect is any sort of long-term effect on the human body. Apparently, we are mistaken, however, since this headline highlighted a man had been deeply affected by a pork chop. It is unclear as to how this is quite possible, but the reality made headlines to prove that this can be a thing. We remain suspicious that this was a result of a pork chop, but we’ll go with it anyway because this is not something you hear every day.
Not All Is As It Seems
Well, this must have been some unfortunate information to have received when taking a trip to the vet. $150 for two toy poodles should have been suspicious from the get-go, but to hear that the adorable creatures have been pumped with steroids to be made to look like dogs is not what you want to hear after your purchase. Quite the dramatic headline, but we just wonder what these rodents looked like to convince this man that they were the toy poodles he was after.
Stating The Obvious
This is when we stop believing that psychics have any powers to go by. We’re usually given predictions of when the world is going to end – firm believers get fully prepped and enjoy every last second before that fateful day arrives… only to realize the predictions given were, once again, wrong. So when we see this type of headline where psychics predict that the world did not end the day before, we just don’t know what to listen to anymore.
Those Dreadful Neighbors
You may not always be so lucky with your neighbors, and there are often disputes over parking, building works, or noise. However, it seems this one got a bit too personal when the row was overhearing each other pee. Making headline news for South London Press, this seemed to be the most scandalous story of the day. It does make a change form loud music, cars, and children playing in the garden, but maybe this type of news should have been kept in private.
It’s The Little Things
A story made the news after it was found that a man had stolen a roll of tin foil from the pound shop (the equivalent of just over $1) and the public was asked if they had any information on the story to report to the police. We would like to believe the police are dealing with more serious cases, but we guess theft is theft, and it is against the law, so why should the man not suffer the consequences? If you saw anything, make sure you get on that quick!
Just A Heads Up
You may want to sit down for this. The breaking news of the day is… a woman finds a hat in a tree! Shocking stuff ladies and gents, so much so, we all had to be told about it. Described as a hat ‘which is red and has a bobble,’ is the description of the woman’s discovery. We’re not too sure where they would be going with this information since I do not remember a time we were told to be on the hunt for a particular hat.
Keep The Volume Down!
You often think that peoples voices, or music for that matter, would be the case of being regarded as”‘too noisy” in a public place. However, according to this headline making the news, it was the new footpath gate that was causing all the trouble. The article continues to state that this noisy gate has since been removed for causing such inconvenience and, rest assured, has been replaced by something we hope a little more cooperative. You can never be too careful with those noisy gates.
Throwing All His Toys Out The Pram
It would seem like the ultimate dream to own a toy shop and, for sure, any owner is seen as a god in the eyes of children. However, it seems as though watching children with their parents fight over which toy to purchase has influenced one toy shop owner. Making news for throwing a tantrum, you wonder what went so wrong to be throwing all his toys out the pram. Maybe the number one toy just sold out, and they forgot to get their hands on one.
Starting Them Young
If things in life came easy, we would have nothing to work for. So this cafe owner was proving that to a two-year-old, giving him an early insight into the tough time’s life has to throw at you. If that two-year-old believed he could come into a cafe and be noisy, he must think again. However, to say he was ejected basically insinuates he was thrown out at the push of a button. It seems this cafe owner is not messing about – keep quiet or face the consequences.
Beware! A case of the pigeons is fast approaching, and it’s time to take action! Well, not quite. According to Norwich Evening News, the pigeons were all after a castle, and to be honest, we don’t blame them. It’s what fairytales are made of – you live in a castle and you are given only the best royal treatment. So the pigeons decided enough was enough and wanted to take action on those living the good life. Their little scheme was big news in Norwich it seems.
The Secrets Of A Garden
You may find some unexpected items in the garden. Perhaps the neighbors kicked over a ball, a plastic bag may have flown and made its way onto the grass, or even some unfortunate animal litter. However, when a British Journal made the huge headline ‘ROTTEN TREE FALLS IN GARDEN,’ we wonder if it such a shock for a tree to have fallen in a garden. Since a tree is actually expected to be found in a garden, we’re going to assume that not much else goes on in this area to catch public attention.
You Don’t Say
Last time we checked, being 25 was not considered as being in your teen years, so there is no shock here that teen pregnancy will be lower at this age. That is because it doesn’t count when looking at figures of women getting pregnant in their teenage years. If we were going by this article, then we would have expected the same to be the case from 20-years-old and up. Good to know that the statistics calculated are legitimate… or not.