These Unintentional Inappropriate Business Names Are Simply Too Much

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Thai-m To Stop

It’s no secret some foods, especially ethnic ones that use a lot of spices, work as catalysts when it comes to the digestive system.

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Boozy Mistakes

Alcohol, more often than not, assists significantly in creating nights we will never remember and making memories we will very soon forget. For some, these binge drinking nights lead to feeling particularly free to be risky and let physical cravings get in the way of rational thought. Thankfully, this wines and liquors store grants its buyers the S.T.D experience without having to strip and find out many partners later that blurry night caused critical health problems that could have been avoided with simple precautions.

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Beauty Is Pain

They say “no pain no gain,” but does one really have to Curl Up And Dye if all they wanted was a hairstyle change, like a simple trim or blonde highlights? This business was not about to let its customers step into a beauty salon named anything short of a witty word game. And why not play a fun “guess what we should name our next business” game as you let the hair dye settle on your roots?

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So Not O-K

It is important to make it a habit not to joke over racial matters, otherwise, lines are easily crossed and someone might feel genuinely hurt. After all, there is a reason humans implement political correct language in the workspace. However, some things are simply too hard to ignore, such as this poorly chosen business name – the Three “K” Cabinets. Do they sell only white oak cabinets, by any chance? Because if so, this is simply too much to bear.

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Change Is Always Welcome

Kids can be a burden, there is no doubt about that. It can be a lot to handle, having to take care of infants all the time, attend their every need and have to put up with their constant complaining and underappreciation of all the time and put in just to make sure they are healthy, well-fed and happy. We doubt this was the intention of the store, but the sign gave us a brilliant idea – a store where one can exchange their kids with others!

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Love And Care

A rather specific kind of dental practice is offered in this clinic, or at least, that is what is suggested from the sign reading “Menlove.” Gone are the days in which a person went to the doctor’s office just to get treated for the problem they had – now, there is a new technique: visit a doctor with the same preferences and orientation as yours! Keeping in mind the name of the business is likely just the practicing doctor’s last name, but it is a hilarious one nonetheless.

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Hol(y) In One

Dot Drilling came up with a rather lowkey name for their business, which proved to be wise when handing out business cards to prospective clients. However, the slogan that came along with it defeated the purpose of portraying a serious, no funny business image. Reading “your hole is our goal” is a saying one does not often come by, which is why we find it hard to believe there was no malicious intent when sticking such a controversial saying on their company van.

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Clean Cut

Getting a divorce is dirty business. No one willingly enters a marriage wholeheartedly wishing it would end inside the four walls of a law firm, unless it was premeditated, of course. However, if you are about to turn back on your word and redraw your claims of “’till death do us part,” you might as well do it when your soon-to-be divorcee is being handed papers reading “Ditcher, Quick & Hyde.” If not for the irony, at least do it for the comic significance.

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Sinking Ship

Maybe it is a recurring theme, the whole dangerous Far East restaurants fiasco, but it is one we have just recently become aware of. This place not only promises “adventures of Thai cuisine” (that seems more like a health hazard than a journey you would want to embark on) but also hints towards a sinking ship experience while dining in the poorly lit joint. One cannot help but wonder what health grade this place got and what exotic sea creatures are featured on the menu…

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RIP Me Apart

Reading this business sign, it seems the owner of the place had a hard time deciding which pun he wanted to go along with. Should his business’s initial association be with an unidentified serial killer who terrorized London in 1888, or should it resemble a dodgy ad for a person who is an exotic dancer and who’s occupation involves taking their clothes off in a public for adult entertainment? Ah, decisions decisions. Good thing he added the fine print reading “wood stripping,” otherwise he would’ve received some questionable phone calls.

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Right On The Spot

“Hit Me Baby One More Time” was not only a 1998 Britney Spears classic that earned a double-platinum status in the U.K. and became one of the best-selling singles of all time, selling more than 10 million copies worldwide – but it also became the anthem for Sadism and Masochism (S&M) groups who take pride in inflicting pain as a source of stimulation. This supplies store, however, probably lacks understanding of what its name implies and why it attracts all sorts of unique customers.

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Man’s Man

Wikipedia defines the term “Tranny” as “a derogatory and offensive slang term for a transgender, transfeminine, transvestite, or cross-dressing person,” but the truth of the matter is that the term is often used by people who are transgender, as well. Like many other slang words, this term has been so deeply implemented into everyday slang language, that it is no longer odd to hear others saying it as though it carries no major significance. That is not to say this sign will not make waves, however…

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Just Shoot Me

Illegal substances are illegal for a reason – and while it is common to find people who abuse what has been legally prescribed to them, it is also important to keep in mind that violating the use of such medication is not only against the law – it could be lethal. This business name, the same one that is hung very proudly as the official sign of the pharmacy, is promoting the kind of people who are addicted and abuse substances, which is the ultimate shot in the leg.

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As Long As You’re Ha-Pee

Being lost in translation is a common problem, especially toward those who travel often. While it is hard to have others understand your intent, often, it is even harder to understand the locals. While illustrations could help in places like restaurants since they sometimes feature pictures of dishes on the menu or sign, this particular business not only has a confusing name that could rattle the hunger instantly, but the drawn, steamy item looks quite questionable, too.

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Are You Chicken?

It does not take a person with a vegetarian or vegan diet to not want to a mental image of what the sign is describing stuck in their minds. And so, unless licking chickens is a secret hobby of yours (in which case, you should definitely go get checked out), this sign is not particularly appetizing. Maybe the intention behind the odd saying was to be of sensual suggestion, but either way, it would be best to try something else.

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Initial Reaction

Here is a neat fact – did you know the word for pineapple in every language but English is “Ananas”? This linguistic phenomenon is very odd but goes to show some words are globally understood even in different languages. The word spelled out using initials in the sign below is thought to be well recognized around the world as well, which is why we find it less likely that the people who printed this sign were unaware of what they were suggesting.

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Transparency Is Key

Those who came up with the sign must have thought they were so funny, making one that they reasoned not many would understand unless reading it aloud. We doubt their moms would have approved on a sign insinuating such language, but we definitely see what they did there. Coming up with a witty name for a business in charge of installing UPVC and aluminum windows and doors is a harder task than it may seem, so they deserve credit for that.

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My Way Or No Way

Pho King Way Noodles And Grill is a business that already owns two separate restaurants. “The mission is simple: serve delicious, affordable food that guests will want to return to week after week” reads their website, and with an aspiration like this, it is easy to understand why the owners of the place chose such a memorable name. No ****ing way was this place going to be undermined by any other noodle joint, not with a name like this.

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Toe Be Or Not Tow Be

A “camel toe” is a slang term referring to the outline of a woman’s privates which is visible when wearing tight fitting clothes, such as tights, leggings or even on rare occasions – pants. This is a common phrase among young people, as it is used to mock and ridicule girls for their suggestive appearance. This towing truck business probably thought it might as well make a funny reference to the term, or maybe the owner simply had profound admiration toward camels.

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All Around Service

The Master Bait And Tackle shop provides fishing equipment to all, but the sign suggests there is a whole other service being offered as well. Funny business aside, more thought could have been given by the store owners, who proved to be successful at detailing what sort of merchandise they have on offer and less efficient at picking out a business name that was not suggestive. Thank goodness for the drawing, it helps set things straight for those who could have gotten confused.

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Wheels On The Bus

Putting aside the fact this so-called bus is not a bus at all, we find it hard to believe that no one was capable of coming up with a better name for this business. The Stool Bus’s catchphrase is “we’ll take crap from anyone,” which is quite hilarious considering this business provides the service of solving septic system problems by pumping and repairing. Still, this is one truck we would hate to be stuck behind in traffic.

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That’s No Bargain

Macklemore might have been so psyched about his thrift shop purchases that he felt the need to write an entire song about it, about there is no need to use such language when naming your own store. Even if we are looking at the best case scenario, in which all proceeds go toward children with learning disabilities or physical limitations, calling them “retarded” is not only politically incorrect – it is just plain rude, mean and uncalled for.

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Mama Mia!

Who would willingly name their pizza parlor after an STD? According to healthline.com, herpes can “cause cold sores and fever blisters around the mouth and on the face,” which is definitely not what one would or should want people to associate with the edibles served. What we find even more peculiar is the fact this place appears to be void of customers, which highly suggests it is best to stay clear of the food and employees around in this joint.

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Readaholic

Resembling the Harper Lee novel To Kill A Mockingbird which was published in 1960, it is very likely the owners of this Mexican Bar And Grill wanted to gain the same amount of recognition as the book, as it was immediately successful, landed the much envied Pulitzer Prize, and has become a masterpiece and embodiment of classic American literature. We like this play of words, since maybe it’ll remind someone to pick up the book and read the all-time favorite like they always intended on doing but have never gotten around to.

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Deep Fried Friends

Every kid’s worst nightmare has just come true – the same animated Pixar movie that made us fall in love with creatures of the sea and wonder if sharks are not all bad after all was just desecrated by this fish and chips fast food restaurant. Finding Nemo was a tremendously successful movie that was favored by children and adults alike, as well as gave us a glimpse of what sea life is like. Now, it’s cruelly used to sell fried fish.

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Ho Ho Ho

This title is pretty self-explanatory, so there is not much that can be said about a sign calling out such a statement. We will add, however, that for a place that sells edible goods – and sloppy burgers at that – you would think a more appetizing sign would be hung on top of this joint… Especially considering it has not even been opened yet and needs to draw in as many customers as possible for its grand opening.

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Walk A Mile In Their Infected Shoes

MedicineNet describes Athlete’s Foot as “a common disorder of the feet characterized by scaling and/or blistering of the soles, fissures of the toe webs, and itching.” In addition to the fungal infections of the feet being highly contagious to others, it is also quite likely to spread to other parts of the body if not treated properly. For this reason exactly, it remains unclear why any business, especially a shoe store, would ever want to be associated with the common skin infection.

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No Pun Intended

Richards around the world have, unfortunately for them, been commonly referred to as Dick. This is an unlucky nickname many wish they could avoid, but for some unknown reason, it has stuck. While some guys choose to ignore it altogether, others decide to deal with the inevitable title by facing the matter head-on – just as the guy in the sign below did. Making fun of the whole situation, Dick went all in when he opened his very own inn, a decision that landed him much praise and acknowledgement.

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Hitting Rock Bottom

Maybe the owner of this bakery had a little too many special muffins the night he came up with the concept of this place, but all in all we like the final outcome. In light of his recent highly publicized and rather ugly divorce, we believe Brad Pitt would appreciate his name being used for something as sweet and positive as a store selling delicious baked goods. Perhaps the name of the place could be used to name a special, star-shaped bread, too.

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TV-holic

As someone who considers themselves to be a fan of shows pursuing justice, it is quite surprising this is the best they could come up with. Perhaps it can be viewed as an act of desperation, a cry for help from a man who had dreams of becoming a cop or an investigator, only to wind up mowing grass everyday for the rest of their lives. We personally think there’s something soothing about working within Mother Nature, but that’s probably why they say the grass is always greener.

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