One of the most confusing things about visiting the local pool is understanding when to and when not to breathe. Thankfully, the pool’s management decided to hang this sign to remind its swimmers that there probably won’t be breathable oxygen underwater.
Don’t Get Smart With Me
Students are always looking for an easy way out of school work. In this case, young Ralphie felt it best to answer this question as quickly and marginally correct as he could. In essence, 1895 is an appropriate answer to the question. If Ralphie gets this question marked wrong, he might want to consider an appeal. We need clever individuals like Ralphie to become the next leaders of the free world. The world would be too vanilla without their wit.
The Door Dilemma
Opening a door is one of the biggest mysteries of life. How do we know which direction the door swings? Is it an out-swinger or a push-to-open? The biggest door related mystery always involves the doorknob. How are we expected to know how they operate? For years door knobs only functioned as a stylistic addition to a door. When they became a functioning piece of how a door opens, the level of human confusion reached new highs. Thankfully, this sign explains it all.
Libraries are a place of knowledge and learning. You never know what you will find buried in the endless shelves of books. When librarian Jean closed up at the end of the day, she wanted library visitors to understand the library’s hours of operation. Of course, she forgot to include any times and settled for this instead. While she might be correct in assessing that the library is closed until opening time, she might want to inform those future visitors on when that is.
Made From The Best Stuff On Earth
Feeling a little under the weather? A glass of freshly squeezed orange juice will help pump your body with the Vitamin C necessary to bring you back to life. When you are at the store looking for that perfect bottle of orange juice, make sure to find the freshly squeezed orange juice made with freshly squeezed oranges. It can be quite confusing when those bottles are next to the freshly squeezed orange juices made without freshly squeezed oranges.
Honey, I Blew Up The Food
Depending on your personality, Ikea can be either a magical palace filled with your home necessities or a winding warehouse of overwhelming hell. If you fall into the latter category, the one place you might find solace is in the food court. Try not to be too disappointed when your hot dog cannot feed your entire neighborhood for a week. Just read the fine print, and you will understand why it fits into your hand.
Exit Stage Left
Tony works security at the local music club. He has always been a bit ornery, especially while he is on the job. His biggest pet peeve is when people exit through the door. Tony prefers that people exit through an unmarked underground tunnel which leads to the street. To combat the door-exiting problem, he posted this sign. Tony is also the guy who tries to fire employees that just handed in their resignation. He’s quite popular around the office.
Today’s Specials Include….
When Dan and Frank Carney opened Pizza Hut, they never expected that the menu could become so expansive. This specific location has a new item available for a limited time only. In case you were worried that you would miss the special dish (hint: it’s pizza), this marquee sign is here to assure you that they still have it. Don’t drag your feet though. This limited time offer will not last forever, and you’ll have to find pizza elsewhere.
Not An Intergalactic Package
Something seems fishy about this package. Why explicitly label this item as “made on earth?” It is such an obvious statement that what if the sender is actually trying to throw us off the scent? Rumors of extraterrestrial life on earth have floated about for decades. Perhaps they have established an intergalactic delivery system to bring space items to our planet. Even aliens need a little slice of home. This is just their way of sneaking packages through UPS.
Law And Order
With so many crime shows on television, everyone has now become an expert in crime. This woman must have been shaken by a recent incident in Sweden that she felt compelled to explain Sweden’s justice system to a television crew. What would we do without her expertise? In school, they always explained that those who break laws become criminals. Government classes must have skipped the chapter on the legality of criminals themselves. Do they re-arrest criminals in Sweden or just keep them perpetually on trial?
Slippery When Wet
Scientists everywhere are scrambling to gain enough data to confirm this sensational finding. We always believed that rain was a dry substance which creates more friction on the surfaces to which it falls. This statement, “rain creates wet roads” completely contradicts this belief. It’s the modern day, “the world is round.” If rain makes roads wet, we must take the appropriate actions. Meteorologists will need a new set of warnings for their viewers. Schools will need to rethink their textbooks completely.
What’s A Weatherman?
It’s no secret that the internet has made many professions obsolete. Why watch your local weatherman when you can head to the Weather Channel‘s website for your daily forecast? John had had enough with his local weatherman. He considers himself an old school guy but cannot stand watching the local news. He opted for a high tech forecasting stone to predict the weather. The stone does not predict weather as much as report it at the moment, but it is quite accurate.
Hold My Appointments
Few writers were as impactful throughout their careers as Maya Angelou. Through her autobiographies, poetry, and essays, Angelou detailed her personal struggles and that of Black America. Angelou died in 2014 of natural causes but still had a full docket of work lined up for the following weeks. After her death, she made sure to cancel her upcoming appearance in Houston. She understood it could be a bit shocking for a ghost to give a lecture. Some people are just not tolerant of supernatural speakers.
How Do I Get Out This Place?
Trish and Rob had had enough of school for the day. They recently moved to the neighborhood and just started at the high school. Since the building was still new to them, they were unaware of how to leave the building. During lunch, they became fed up with their new classes and decided to play hooky. When they reached for the door, they found that it smelled like garbage and had no doorknob. Days later, this sign was posted.
You Play To Win The Game
Football is one of the most difficult to understand sports in the world. The intricacies of the game have alienated football from other countries. With concepts such as “the team with the most points wins,” it is no surprise it has not caught on globally. The Ravens tried a different method this past season in which they don’t outscore opponents in the hope of winning games. Their poor results did not reflect the creativity of their game plan.
Don’t Tell That To Lumberjacks
Skiing is one of the greatest joys of winter time. Throwing some snow pants and a jacket on and heading to the slopes can be a highlight of any week. While some use the slopes to blast through fresh powder, others go on missions to confirm the legend of moving trees. This mountain played spoiler to those seeking these mythical trees. They bluntly state that their trees don’t move. You’ll have to check the resort next door for moving trees.
High Quality H2O
Generally speaking, the recipe for water is quite simple: two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. It’s difficult to mess up because it becomes something completely different with more or fewer of either part. Sometimes we like to spice up the water recipe with flavor. Pineapple mint water sounds quite delicious. However, everyone has one question – what could be in that pineapple mint water? Is there some lemon or melon? What would we do without this simple clarification?
Open For Business
Tito walked into his company’s restroom after a long shift hoping to relieve himself. He was so confused by the situation with the urinals that he took the elevator to another floor to do his business. The sign read “out of order, ” but nothing seemed off. Everything was in the right place. The urinal had been moved to the ground to accommodate for “take your child to work day” years earlier. Why was it suddenly out of order?
The Gift Of Life
Taylor was so excited about her new baby that she rushed to Facebook to post a picture of her and the newest addition to her family. While her family is growing, she might want to consider shrinking her friend group. Tricia does not seem like the sharpest tool in the shed. She could have made any of a dozen observations from this photo, but she went with “awww thats a new baby.” At least she didn’t write, “awww, a photo!”
A Conflicting Definition Of “May”
Snack dispensers create a feeling of nostalgia for the days that you put a quarter in, turned the knob, and received a gumball. Nuts make for a nice healthy alternative to candy and gum. Whoever filled this machine clearly learned a different definition of “may” than the rest of the world. “May,” in this instance, is used to express a possibility. Is this dispenser possibly filled with peanuts or certainly filled with peanuts? We might never know.
The Inflation Station
When Leo opened his barber shop fifty years ago, he never expected costs would rise so drastically. He fondly remembers the days when shampoo cost 15 cents a gallon. Now, Leo is forced into raising his prices to continue making a profit. How can he avoid a $2 gallon of shampoo? As great as he is at cutting hair, Leo was never much of a math man. He sticks to simple numbers that he can explain. Thanks for clarifying your averaged price increase, Leo!
How Are My Odds, Doc?
Cancer of any sort is no laughing matter. Its many forms can take lives and make lives difficult. That being said, according to this ad, we are all doomed. Congratulations to those headless people out there that dodged this bullet. Unless you recently had your mouth and throat removed, there is a strong possibility throat cancer is coming your way. It is amazing to think that there might be people out there that needed this information to understand their risk level.
Close The Door, Don’t Take A Seat
Mrs. Talbot’s class had an unfortunate problem on the first day of school: she did not have enough seats for all of her students. When Principal Maxwell suggested searching the halls for extra chairs, this was all she could come up with. Mrs. Talbot was alone in the hall as she found this chair and contemplated if a student could use it. In the end, she agreed with the sign that the chair was indeed broken.
Math Is A Really Cool Thing
It’s a little-known fact that Mr. Clean moonlights as an elementary school math teacher when he gets a break from his life promoting cleaning products and being a genie. His lessons always contain examples using his favorite cleaning supplies. This difficult division problem shows students that half of 80 is 40. What he does not show in this example is that the cost of the single bottle is greater than purchasing two 40 oz. bottles. Classic genie magic.
Allergies are no joke for some. Food allergies can lead to anaphylactic shock or severe swelling of the throat. It is important to warn consumers of ingredients which could cause them major harm. It is much less important to warn them of allergens which are the product itself. This bottle of milk could not have more mentions of milk on its label; it’s near impossible to not realize that this is milk. It’s almost like we have never known what milk looks like.
Bill Nye The Science Guy
Any seventh-grade science class reviews the three phases of water: solid, liquid, and gas. Water at high temperatures becomes a gas and at low temperatures freezes into a solid. This also means that ice melts into water at higher temperatures. Although it falls from the sky, snow is also made of water. It might be pretty when it falls and fun to ski on, but it has the same properties. In other news, the sun is hot. It might melt snow.
A Hole In The Wall
Public bathrooms are always having issues with cleanliness. At this company, muscle memory is so strong that people continually return to the same toilet each day. After weeks of employees forgetting what a toilet looks like, this company decided to hang a sign to put an end to the mess. Confused patrons entered to find their world rocked. Where would they go to do their business? Everything appeared normal, but something was still missing.
Too Little Too Late
Does anyone know how a bottle works? Asking for a friend. Are you supposed to take the bottle to the face with the cap on or do you take the cap off first and then sip on its refreshing liquid? The outside of this bottle does not have any directions. Fortunately, once you get this bottle open, you will have a friendly reminder for the next time you cannot remember how bottle caps work. Maybe it should come with instructions on breathing too.
Running On Empty
Thanks to rechargeable batteries, replaceable batteries have naturally become less prevalent and useful. However, for anyone holding onto those battery-powered devices, a collection of AA, AAA, C, D, and 9V batteries probably litter your house. When packages read “batteries not included,” do you still hold out hope that you won’t need to dig around for that last 9V you thought you had and that one will appear in your device? This message is designed for you. Sorry sucker, start digging.
Call It As It Is
A picture might say one thousand words, but this photo only needs one to help you understand what is going on truly. In case you were unaware, that large brown wooden slab between a frame is called a door. The silver piece in the lower left corner is called a handle, but that is the next lesson titled “Remembering What Objects Are Without A Label.” Doors have many purposes – they open, they close, and sometimes they even lock. Now you get it.