The Olympic Touch
Now we know the secret to Michael Phelps’ Olympic success: he had the touch of god pushing him to the finish line. It was a valiant effort to try to isolate Phelps, minus the phantom fingers.
Six Fingers For Six Strings
Learning guitar is a tricky instrument. How are you expected to play all of the strings when you only have five fingers on a single hand? Fortunately, this guitar lesson book has found the easiest way around this dilemma. All you need is that elusive sixth finger. How it got there and where it came from will always be a mystery, but it solves our primary problem. Be careful, your sixth finger is the most sensitive and may fall off at any time.
I Will Always Love Your Three Hands
The sub-headline got it right: “so many waffles, so little time.” What is a pop superstar to do when there are so many waffles? The only solution is to strap on your third hand to allow for maximum hand utility. We never considered that Whitney Houston gained her singing powers not from genetics or practice but her biological similarities to a spider. For all we know, she has three more arms hidden underneath her clothes.
It is unclear if Oi Airlines is an existing airline or not. What is clear, however, is that this plane will not be going anywhere anytime soon. Within our limited understanding of flight physics, we understand that necessary components of a plane include a fuselage, a cockpit, a rudder, engines, and wings. The last piece is quite important- it needs TWO wings. This experimental plane is unlikely to pass any TSA regulations without wings on both sides of the plane.
The Skinniest Skinny Arm
It’s a common thing for women to place on their hip and lean slightly forward to gain the “skinny arm” look. This photo takes the skinny arm to a new level. Someone must have forgotten that arms have a natural shape and it usually does not include smaller biceps than forearms. Someone clearly did not like the way it rested on her side. Erasing half of her arm seemed like the logical fix because every girl desires that look.
Cool Tan, Bro
In the MTV show Jersey Shore, one of the characters popularized his slogan “G-T-L” a.k.a. gym, tan, laundry. This guy really took the slogan to heart, however, failed miserably at all three. To avoid going to the gym, he photoshopped his head onto this body. He missed out on the tan part as you can see the differences in skin color around the neck. Lastly, the shirt in the photo is tragically something from the 80s as if he is waiting for his laundry.
Trouble With The Curve
Before her next dance recital, Lindsay Lohan could not wait to take before and after photos. She had her mother snap this one before they left for the auditorium. Unhappy with how the before photo came out, she demanded it be retaken. With little time before recital began, she rushed for her place in line and had to settle for some shoddy photoshopping to make herself look better. How dumb are we to believe that door frames should be straight?
A Turkish Miracle
We do not know what type of jet fuel Turkish Airlines uses in its planes, but sign us up for a lifetime supply. If it gives us the power to levitate as well as it did for this plane, we could become godlike beings in no time. It is a bit concerning that the flight attendant seems unimpressed by this impressive feat. Gravity was undefeated until it met Turkish Airlines plane engineers. Now we know which airline to book for our next flight.
Up In Arms
Anyone who sees this photo should feel up in arms. We have all been wronged by this egregious photoshopping. Arms simply do not look like this. Was this a cruel joke to show the power of photoshop? Was it an effort to look great that went historically wrong? Frankly, the how or why does not matter. We should all be focused on this atrocious editing job because it is impossible to look away. The best wrecks are always the train wrecks.
Do You Have Tickets To The Gun Show
For all intents and purposes, this Alpin Hans employee does not need the extra boost to carrying these jugs of ‘Superchlor.” His right hand is aptly holding one, but he felt the need to show off his supreme strength with his left hand. If you look close enough, you can see space between his right shirt sleeve and his arms. Not even tennis players have arm size discrepancies this flagrant. Next time, a realistic arm will do just fine.
Peter Pan Syndrome
Hunter Hayes is so young look that you might confuse him for Peter Pan. Who knows, he might be cast in a future production of the classic story. From this ad, are we to assume that Hunter Hayes has lost his shadow? It seems as if his shadow has different intentions for this photo shoot than Hunter himself. Shadow Hunter prefers to hold a baseball bat while real Hunter is more into the hand in the pocket. Wendy Darling needs to sew them back together.
Jeb! The Chameleon Candidate
For a time, President George W. Bush’s brother Jeb seemed like the Republican Party front-runner in the 2016 Presidential Election. What made Jeb a good candidate? According to this ad, Jeb has biological advantages that none of the other Bushes have ever publicly exhibited. He can change his skin color to appeal to the crowd around him. How could he not win with this power? If he campaigned as an X-Men character, maybe he would have made it to the General Election.
Feet Don’t Fail Me Now
59Fifty is one of the most popular models of baseball hats in the world. As exciting as it for this woman to be rocking a Yankees cap, all of the attention should be with her legs. Her smile can only be so real in a stance like that. At first glance, it appears as if she is happily twirling in her skirt and heels. At a closer examination, we realize one of her legs faces the wrong direction. Surgery might be her only hope.
Hips Sometimes Lie
If hips don’t lie, these hips are telling Target to get a new photo editor. How does a photo like this make into circulation? It is like they thought we would only look at the model’s midsection and forget that she had a full body. Clearly, they forgot that she had a full body. Somebody let their kid go a little too crazy with the eraser in the Paint computer application. Nothing says beauty like 65% of a body.
In Arms Reach
No matter how many ads we see, arms continuously seem to be an issue. They tend to show up when you do not want them and vanish when you need them around. Sometimes, they are used as an extension of another arm. Are we to assume that this is a fake arm used to extend one’s reach? Where did it come from? There is no one else in the frame or anything to suggest anyone with an arm is nearby to extend a hand.
I Left My Arm In My Other Shirt
Marissa Miller is objectively one of the most beautiful people alive today. The former Victoria’s Secret Angel has modeled since the early aughts and appeared in seven straight issues of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Looking perfect comes naturally to Miller, but one photo editor felt that she needed some minor adjustments. Those minor adjustments included removing her entire left arm. Now her kids will have to fight over who holds mommy’s hand.
Calling All Angels
Struggling to find love and need a bride as soon as possible? All it takes to find your personal angel is for the skies to open at precisely the right time. Just give a little prayer asking for a wife, and voila, you have yourself a pretty angel bride that fits in your hand. Act now and get two brides for the low cost of one prayer. Good luck – all angel-brides are nonrefundable and do expect alimony.
Burning Down The Cat
Cats are not for everyone. Some find them adorable, lovable, and playful while others see them as a nuisance worthy of destruction. This ad cannot decide which camp it is in. On the one hand, they chose to include a cat for its adorable appearance and its interplay with the model. However, they also chose to light the cat on fire which feels more like an endorsement for the second camp. Of course, no cats were truly hurt in this production.
Hey You, Get Off Of My Cloud
When Lost premiered in 2004, American audiences had never seen anything like it. The pilot itself cost $14 million to produce. If the show cost so much money, why could they not afford to take a picture of real clouds? At least they could have used different cloud patterns to give life to the background. Instead, they chose to repeat the same two patterns. The internet will not be fooled by their lazy designs.
Victoria’s Real Secret
After 40 years of wondering what Victoria’s Secret is, is it possible we have our first clue? Perhaps, Victoria is hiding her special abilities to make things disappear. Even Marvel creator Stan Lee cannot dream up superpowers like that. If this ability truly does exist, it sounds like it could be something at the center of the next Avengers film. The model might not have a handbag currently, but just wait until she reveals her hidden talents to the world.
Face Swap Fun
Microsoft has been a staple in the tech world since the mid-70s. Empower your people might not be the greatest tagline ever but sometimes keeping it simple is the way to go. As a leader in the industry, other companies hope to mimic Microsoft’s success. This apparently means swiping their ads and using it as their own. It also means swapping the face of the gentleman in the middle with a white man. Apparently, copying Microsoft’s diversity is a step too far.
You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me
It might have been some time since you last used a bulky computer like this one. Let us remind you that they are not light. For the most part, they require being held at the bottom to avoid being dropped. Who knew that we were all wrong? It seems as if this girl has found the best way to carry one. Just take your fingers and clutch onto the air and let your palms do the holding.
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
When the Beatles sang “Oh please, say to me/you’ll let me be your man/and please say to me/ you’ll let me hold your hand,” they never could have imagined that it could be applied to ghosts too. Ghosts have always been neglected beings. Here we see their incredible power to project human parts when in contact with a human. It’s either ghost fingers, or this guy is incredibly lonely and needed a fake hand to hold.
The Newest Type of Body Arm-or
Jennifer Lopez is one of the biggest stars in the world. She has appeared in paparazzi photos for decades. Candid photos of the celebrity are a daily occurrence. It is her job as a mother to keep her kids out of the press. Perhaps the reason she tries to keep her kids out of the news is to protect their true identity as science experiments. Finally, we get a glimpse of the special arm-ored skull child.
Head On A Swivel
You can never be too careful. Danger lurks around every corner. It is best to keep your head on a swivel to survey the land and the surrounding characters. Be careful though, if you turn your head too aggressively, it might get stuck beyond the point of no return. This poor model found out the hard way that turning your head too aggressively leads to a bad case of a stiff neck. At least she can see over her shoulder.
This Is (The Real) Spinal Tap
In 1984, Rob Reiner released one of the greatest comedy classics of all-time, This Is Spinal Tap. The rock mockumentary starred Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer. The three actors loved working together and reunited years later for this photo. It’s been decades since the movie came out so you might have forgotten about the band’s fourth member, seen here trying to climb up McKean’s back. He was incapable of playing instruments with his tiny hands but was a crucial band member.
Get Out Of The Picture, Daddy
Little kids these days love cell phones. The wonders of smartphones open up numerous opportunities for enjoyment. This little girl wanted to take a few selfies with mom and upload them to Snapchat. Their plan was foiled by the girl’s father continuously attempting to join the picture. “Girls only,” she exclaims as she shoves him away the first time. All he wanted was a photo with his girls. Instead, he got a creepy shot with only his hand on mom’s back.
Quit Mole-ing Around
Caroline Silhol is a French actress with five decades of film experience. Silhol and co-star Michel Leeb seem to have plenty to laugh about on this movie poster. Leeb is certainly laughing at Silhol’s mole in the first photo. Having worked on the film with her, he knows that is not the correct location for her mole. In the bottom photo, he is simply shocked to see the mole return to its rightful place, while she laughs at her secret magic trick.
Not A Big Winner
Jeremy Schoemaker is a liar. He never received this check for AzoogleAds. You might say to yourself, “How is that possible? I see the check in his hands.” Unfortunately for Mr. Schoemaker, shadows and reflections do not lie. Unless this large check is made of a special shadow-proof material, Jeremy’s shadow tells a different story. The shadow tells of a man showing off his unimpressive wingspan. NBA analysts will not be mentioning Jeremy’s length anytime soon.
A Five Finger Discount
With deals like these – free shipping and 20% off – it is almost like you are stealing the merchandise. SimplyBe might offer some great deals on clothes, but its the discounted models they find of which you need to be wary. SimplyBe’s models do not have full hands. Since their customers can almost steal their clothes at great prices, they felt it was acceptable to steal away this models fingers and replace them with sticks. That’s a real five finger “five finger discount.”