Prom: it’s a moment that seems to be on every American teen’s mind at some stage in their lives. However, one girl from Richmond, VA, was not allowed to attend her school event. This is the reason why…
Kicked Out
Prom is the definitive way to celebrate the culmination of years of hard work and studying. This couldn’t be farther from the truth for 17-year-old Clare and boyfriend James Thompson. For some strange reason, they were kicked out of the “Twilight in Paris” themed prom…

Ready To Rock
Clare is just your typical high school student who wanted to have the best prom possible. After much hard work, she found the dress she wanted to wear. The dress was silver and full of glitter and after having it fitted, she was ready to go. She was so excited for the night of her life and ready to celebrate with all her friends. However, it turned out that there was one particular detail that she was not expecting…

Acceptable Dress?
Building up to the big night, Clare received a registration form to the prom, which clearly stated that girls should wear semi-formal dresses that are at least at a fingertip length. Her final choice narrowly qualified, but she was happy with her choice. “I’m all dolled up, channeling my inner Marilyn Monroe with my blonde hair and bright red lipstick,” she said. But there was one more thing she needed to do before the event came around, and unfortunately, things did not exactly work out for Clare…

Risky Business
Clare tried on the dress while wearing high heels. This was so she felt like she was ticking all the boxes for the prom rules. However, she worried that the dress hem was touching her fingertips. This could prove to be particularly problematic on the prom dance floor. But after rationalizing the situation, she decided that all she needed to do was dance calmly, and she wouldn’t get into trouble. As soon as she arrived at the Methodist church that was hosting the prom, things went wrong…

Access Denied
As soon as she arrived, the prom organizer, Ann Duncan stopped her and said, “Honey, that dress is too short.” However, Clare was adamant that despite the apparent “fingertip length” of the dress, it simply looked shorter than it actually was because she is quite tall. But Mrs. Duncan did not see it that way and considered the dress to be inappropriate for the event. Despite not fulfilling the dress code, Clare was determined to make it to her own prom.

What Prom Means To People
The term “Prom” originally stems from “promenade dance,” and is a high school tradition that has been popular in the U.S. for over a century. The most important reason behind prom was that it was the first official social event for teenagers who were entering young adulthood. During the 1930s and 40s, prom became such a serious tradition that yearbooks started to show its prom photos. It was also considered to be a celebration that ended an era.

The Essentials Of Prom
When it comes to prom, there are some aspects of the event that have become traditions over time. These include being transported to the event in limousines, dressing up in formal prom attire, taking part in a dance, and posing for group photographs. It is also traditional to go to prom with somebody. While it is typical for couples to go to prom together, it isn’t essential, and many friends and even siblings have ended up going to prom together.

Prom In Pop Culture
The concept of prom has bled into popular culture in such a way that many films have revolved around the high school phenomenon. At the turn of the millennium, many movies highlighted the excitement and drama building up to prom. Flicks such as 10 Things I Hate About You, American Pie and Mean Girls are perfect examples. There have even been episodes in popular sitcoms dedicated to prom, including How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory.

Heavily Supervised
It was clear that this dance, unlike previous years, was being heavily supervised. There were many teachers and security guards watching to ensure that there was no inappropriate behavior. Even Clare’s boyfriend, James, felt the awkwardness in the ballroom. Although there were many people on the dance floor seemingly having fun and dancing the night away, many commented on how unsettling it was having all these adults watching over them from the balconies. It felt like they were being judged.

Uncomfortable Experience
Clare was one of the many who felt uncomfortable. “I felt violated by the sheer number of male parents that were assigned to do nothing for five hours other than watch girls in short dresses and heels dance to upbeat music,” she said. “I think that it is sick and wrong that they assigned them to sit on a balcony above us and look down on us and single us out for our clothes or dancing.” And surely enough, Mrs. Duncan burst back onto the scene.

Twist Of Irony
Claire couldn’t believe what she saw inside the venue. “When I got into the ballroom I laughed because I was surrounded by girls in much shorter dresses than me, albeit they were shorter, and therefore stood out less in the crowd, but it was still frustrating,” she said. The reality was that Clare was in and ready to celebrate with her friends. But it wouldn’t take long before Clare and her friends realized that something was wrong.

Warning Sign
Clare was having none of it and was hell-bent on getting in. She stood there, desperately trying to convince Duncan that her dress was in fact, appropriate. Eventually, her perseverance paid off and she was allowed to enter. However, that wasn’t before Duncan said, “Well, make sure it stays pulled down. It’s too short.” Although Clare thought she was in the clear and ready for the big event, this was just the start of a long and challenging night.

Taken Away
Duncan ordered Clare to come with her. “She took me into a corner in the hallway, with another woman – who I’m assuming was a parent chaperone, and told me that some of the dads who were chaperoning had complained that my dancing was too provocative and that I was going to cause the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts.” Although Ann couldn’t prove this, she felt that she was justified to feel this way.

Wrongful Accusations
What made Clare even more offended was that she felt like Duncan assumed that she wanted the attention. Ultimately, she just wanted to look good for her own sake and have a good time with her friends. As far as Clare was concerned, she couldn’t speak on behalf of any man in the room who found her attractive, it wasn’t her fault. Unfortunately for her, this is the sentiment that Duncan put across. However, Clare was having none of it.

Time To Take Action
Clare was ready to set things straight. Even after making it clear that she was dressing appropriately, Duncan ignored her. “I never signed any documentation agreeing to adhere to any sort of dress code, and the dress code that was verbally communicated to me was followed to the letter,” she said. Not only did she stand up for herself, but her friends also defended her. Nevertheless, Duncan continued to undermine Claire. That’s when James stepped in to try and make a difference…

James To The Rescue
James started to speak up. “That’s fine, she wasn’t doing anything wrong but if you’re kicking her out then the group that she came with is leaving too and you’ll need to refund all of our tickets,” he told the administrators. This was followed by each of Clare’s friend, including herself, asking for a $25 refund. However, Clare knew that this wouldn’t make up for the stress that the venue had put her through and she thought of something better…

Temperature Rising
James truly took it to the administration and wasn’t backing down. However, Mrs. Duncan was also putting up a good fight and felt like it was wrong for the students to argue with her about this issue. Eventually, James’ persistence pushed Duncan over the edge and she called upon some of the chaperones to take matters into their own hands. What did this mean exactly? Did this mean that physical violence was going to happen? Or was it going to be a case of students against adults?

Get Out!
Clare couldn’t believe that she, James, and her friends were getting kicked out of her own prom. She had been anticipating this night for years and then just like that, it was over. She was demonized for sticking out a little. “I have long legs and I was wearing a sparkly dress, I didn’t look like most of the 13-15-year-old girls there, I looked like a woman,” she said. “I am so tired of people who abuse their power to make women feel violated and ashamed.”

Deeply Upsetting
It was hard for Clare to take such harsh words from her teacher. She basically told that she was causing trouble just because of the way she looked. It was deeply upsetting for her. “I was told that the way I dressed and moved my body was causing men to think inappropriately about me, implying that it is my responsibility to control other people’s thoughts and drives,” she said. However, soon enough, she found a way to make things right, at least for herself…

Enlightening Words
As she tried to contain her emotions, she asked a question to the man who was escorting her out of the venue. “I asked the security guy if my dress was compliant with the dress code and if he had noticed any inappropriateness in my behavior,” she said. “He said he didn’t think I did anything to get kicked out but it wasn’t his call.” Amazingly, Clare was the only one to get her money back. But she had more ideas…

Spreading Her Story
After feeling like the administration was completely disrespectful to her and her friends, Clare took to social media to express her feelings. As a result, many online users appreciate her story and could relate. In fact, many women took to the prom Facebook page to voice their anger towards what had happened to Clare. However, administration deleted all the comments and it seems like the page has been wiped out too. However, there was one person who was naturally, unsympathetic.

Two Sides
“The whole situation made me feel violated, walked over, and ostracized,” Clare wrote. “How is it that what I look like and how I dress constitutes the level of respect you give me?” However, Mrs. Duncan shared her side of the story with CBS News. She admitted that although Clare’s dress was acceptable upon arrival, the spandex on her dress caused it to lift up her legs. “It was right below her butt cheeks by the time I saw her,” Duncan said.

Looking Back
Duncan admitted that she had not seen Clare on the dance floor. Her judgment was purely based on the thoughts that some of the dads had after seeing her. “It was very crowded,” she said. “There were 500 kids there, so to be able to even say what they were looking at would be really difficult.” However, Clare was completely against Duncan’s ambivalent words and, through her blog and eventually a video that she filmed with her boyfriend, the couple shared their thoughts on the matter.

Conflicting Opinions
“I was informed by more than one friend who stayed at the prom throughout the course of the evening that there was some truly dirty dancing,” Clare said. “There were several couples making out and grinding on the dance floor, and yet out of a group of 500 people, only one person, (me) got thrown out for inappropriate dancing.” Callie Hobbs, who also attended the prom, shared her thoughts on the matter. “People need to follow the rules,” she said.

Born This Way
17-year-old Clare believes that she was targeted because of her mature body. “When the lady kicked me out, they said the dads had complained about my dancing and that meant that they had to have been watching me,” she said. “This is a message to girls built like me, who can’t find jeans that fit! The girls with long legs, who are forced to prove that their dresses fit the dress code, just because they have more leg showing than most girls.”

Powerful Message
Clare continued with her powerful blog post. “This is a message to the women who understand that sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you pin a dress, you’re still going to have cleavage show when you bend over,” she wrote. “Enough with the…shaming. I’m not responsible for some perverted 45-year-old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on. And if you think I am, then maybe you’re part of the problem.” After posting her message, she received a ton of praise.

No Apologies
Clare’s message has since gone viral and as a result, she was overwhelmed by the positive feedback. Amazingly, despite all the kind words from friends, family and strangers alike, no one from the Richmond Homeschool Prom contacted Clare or apologized to her for what transpired. And she’s still the only one to have received a refund. “We were verbally promised a full refund for our group, we received only a refund for my ticket, they need to refund 5 more tickets for our group,” she said.

Loving Sister
One person who was integral in Clare’s story was her sister Hannah, who gave her blog to Clare to write her thoughts about the matter. “I asked if she wanted to share her story with you here, and she took a little time this evening to write up this fantastic post for you all,” Hannah wrote. “This story is actually pretty common – things like this happened a lot in the homeschool ballroom dance [and] grassroots theater circles in Richmond. But I’ll let her speak for herself. I’m so proud of her.”
Wise Words
So what exactly did Clare write in her profound blog post? Well, here is a little insight into the words that inspired so many others to speak up. “This is what I want to say,” she wrote. “You are beautiful, no matter how you are built, no matter how you chose to dress or dance…You have to know, that people are responsible for their own thoughts, desires, and actions, and it doesn’t…matter if you’re just swaying along with music.”
I’m Not The Only One
One thing was for sure, Clare was convinced that she wasn’t the only young lady out there who was being discriminated for the way she dressed. In her final words on her blog post, she wrote the following: “I’m only 17, but I can see there’s something wrong about this, please, please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks it doesn’t matter how people are dressed or how they move their bodies, we should still treat them with respect and decency.”
Standing Tall
Regardless of the lack of closure she got from this experience, Clare has come out of it as a stronger person and believes that the story she has shared with the world will help change the way people think about these situations. Clare’s story is a clear example of the continuous demonization of young women simply for the way they dress. As the subject becomes more and more sensitive, Clare hopes that with time, things will get easier for people who just want to have a good time at prom.



